Last night the Queensland government passed legislation in preparation for the G20 events being held in Cairns and Brizvegas. Locals who do not pass criminal history checks will be denied access to restricted zones. Alternate accommodation will be provided at the cost of a few hundred dollars, according to Police Minister Jack Dempsey.
Subsequently, rioting and crime have wracked Queensland as citizens attempt to qualify for compensation.
“The baby bonus bubble was going to burst, and everyone in the business knew it,” said Michael Sass. “Times have been tough since then, but I’m confident that I can obtain a criminal record in time for the payout.”
But not everyone’s happy with the legislation; this afternoon, Reptile Flight Association spokesperson, Hiss Imalizard expressed outrage with the move.
“The ban of Lizards and remote control planes in those zones is a big blow and will set flying lizardry back decades,” She said. “Lizard pilots are also appalled at the ban of eggs in the zone, as if simply banning Lizards wasn’t enough.” She added.
Opposition police spokesperson Bill Byrne told Parliament last night that the legislation was for pussies.
“I am somewhat surprised that some of the offence provisions have quite light sentences attached, and I consider the boundaries of the restricted and declared areas to be minimalist,” he jibed.
The G20 events will hosted in Cairns and Brizvegas late next year.