Same sex couples flock to Manus Island

Same sex couples including those who have had their marriages retrospectively annulled by the High Court are flocking en-masse to Manus Island in an attempt to be tortured by the Australian government. It’s been a longstanding belief in the heterosexual community that marriage is the worst torture of all. Same sex couples are hoping that the same horrible treatment will be applied to them when they arrive by boat.

Not anymore, suckers
Not anymore, suckers

“It would be totally horrible if we were forced to live together in holy matrimony for as long as we both shall live,” Said Barry who along with his partner George hurried to Manus Island disguised as Muslims. “It would really deter me from seeking to stay in Australia,” he continued, getting into character.

“When I saw on TV that the Australian Government has a total disregard for law on Manus Island, both domestic and international, I thought this might just be the chance we were looking for,” said George. “The lack of water and basic human amenities is a little worrying but to be honest we’ve had a lot of practice at being second class citizens,” he concluded.

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Terrorist immigrants violently protest against Australia

Despite the best efforts of many couples seeking refuge in the Manus Island Torture Hellhole Facility (MITHF) the Australian government has begun diverting boats bound to Manus Island from Australia to Papua New Guinea (PNG).

“We got really lucky and were simply sent back to Australia,” said Lisa who stood visibly shaken next to her partner Georgina. “When we were picked up by immigration they said they might send us to PNG where homosexuality is illegal and may be reported to police. Thank god we’ll be sent to Australia where lesbianism is barely considered sex at all,” she added with a tired smile.

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Two nuclear (family) terrorists and an incredibly well balanced abductee

At a press conference in Canberra the Australian government denied accusations of hypocrisy.

“Some people out there in the press gallery clearly aren’t paying enough attention to the facts,” a government spokesperson said. “The argument that we’re hypocrites because we’re upholding federal law here and not to our charges overseas is a misrepresentation. The propagation of human suffering is something that Australia takes very seriously and you will find that our record on that matter is consistent. It’s a policy that we will continue to hold domestically and as part of our immigration and foreign policy,” he concluded.

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